A roundabout of disillusions

I just do not get it.
How can one’s thoughts and feelings be so far apart from one another? While my mind is running off to a fairytale, right in the arms of my prince charming, my heart is drifting off into an entirely different direction – a far less positive one.
Will I be able to force my heart in a certain pre-scripted plot, or should I let it make a detour and just wait until it gets back on the right track, whichever one that might be?
A good friend warned me for this long before. Unfortunately, I was too stubborn to listen. I was highly convinced that I should know what he, my prince charming, wanted from me, had in mind for us and hoped we would become, before I made up my own mind about those things. Well, turns out I was wrong, my friend was right. I should have thought it through and sorted it out before I told him I had any doubts in the first place. As a result, it now feels like I am not following any path at all: neither my mind’s, nor my heart’s. Instead, I am stuck on a roundabout of disillusions, hope, fear and a highway jammed with uncertainty. I am lost. The true problem here is that no one has a map to guide me through this: I am all by myself on this one.